(via monsieurfatale)

TV Shows Challenge | 7 best episodes: “Britney/Brittany” (Glee - Season 2, Episode 2)

Sue: It’s a Britney Spears sex riot!

WILL: Hey! It’s okay. I know it’s not always easy for you, Rachel. And I know that there are some things about yourself that you think you’d like to change but you should know that there is some boy out there that’s going to like you for everything you are including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are going to be the things he likes the most 

(via ann-boleyn)

Artie: Eddie. I’ve seen him.
Mercedes: Eddie? What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?
Artie: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You see, Eddie happens to be my… nephew.
Sue: This play is terrible.
Will: Finn’s line, Dr. Scott!
Rachel: Oh!
Artie: Janet!
Rachel: Dr Scott!
Will: Finn’s line, Janet!
Sue: I’m so bored I just fell into a microsleep.
Rachel: Brad!
Mercedes: Rocky!
Will: Grrr!
Artie: Janet!
Rachel: Dr. Scott!
Will: Still being Finn, Janet!
Rachel: Brad!
Sue: None of this is plausible.
Mercedes: Rocky!
Will: Grr.
Artie: Janet.
Rachel: Dr. Scott!
Will: Finn’s line, Janet!
Rachel: Brad!
Mercedes: Rocky!
Will: Grr.
Sue: This play has incredible pacing problems.
Rachel: Mr. Schue, it is pointless to rehearse this scene without Finn.
Will: Well, we don’t have a choice, he’s late and he’s not answering his phone, we gotta get this timing down, guys. And would you please stop interjecting your opinions, Sue.
Will: Opinions? These are my re-writes.

Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me
I wanna be dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me
Creature of the night

— Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me

I used to go for a ride with a chick who’d go
And listen to the music on the radio
A saxophone was blowing on a rock’n’roll show
And you climbed in the back and you really had a good time

— Whatever Happened To Saturday Night?

Kurt: Thank you, Mercedes. Your voice is stunning. But I don’t believe in God.
Tina: Wait, what?
Kurt: You’ve all professed your beliefs, I’m just stating mine. I think God is kinda like Santa Claus for adults. Otherwise God’s kind of a jerk, isn’t he? I mean he makes me gay and has his followers going around telling me it’s something that I chose. As if someone would choose to be mocked every single day of their life. And right now I don’t want a heavenly father. I want my real one back.
Mercedes: Look, Kurt, how do you know for sure? You can’t prove that there’s no God.
Kurt: You can’t prove that there isn’t a magic teapot floating around on the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightning out of its boobs, but it seems pretty unlikely doesn’t it?
Brittany: Is God an evil dwarf?
Quinn: We shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s not right.
Kurt: I’m sorry, Quinn, but you all can believe whatever you want to. But I can’t believe something I don’t. I appreciate your thoughts. But I don’t want your prayers.

Finn: Mr. Schue? I have something to say. Something happened to me and I can’t really get into it but it’s shaken me to my core.
Puck: Oh my God, he’s coming out.
Finn: Well, yes, there is a man who’s sort of recently come into my life and that man is Jesus Christ.
Puck: That’s way worse.
Finn: And I know there’s others in here who dig him too. So I thought maybe this week we could pay tribute to him in music. You know, pay tribute to Jesus.
Kurt: Sorry, but if I wanted to sing about Jesus I’d go to church. And the reason I don’t go to church is because most churches don’t think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science.
Mercedes: I don’t see anything wrong with getting a little church up in here.
Quinn: I agree. I’ve had a really hard year and I turned to God a lot for help. I for one wouldn’t mind saying thanks.
Santana: Thanks for what? That it didn’t come out a lizard baby?
Brittany: Whenever I pray I fall asleep.

There’s no escape
I can’t wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You’re dangerous
I’m loving it

— Toxic

Will: You all set? You need me to stay with you or anything?
Rachel: No, I’ve been taking herbal anti-anxiety pills and reading the unauthorized biography of Britney Spears to stay calm. I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them.

Brittany: I would just like to say from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club.
Will: What?
Brittany: When I had my teeth cleaned, I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy. I sang and danced better than her. Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am.
Santana: I went with her. And I had a Britney fantasy too. Although now that I’m thinking about it I’m not really sure how our fantasies combined. That doesn’t make any sense.
Kurt: See, Mr. Schue, I told you. Britney Spears busted our Brit out of her every day fragmented haze of confusion and gave her the confidence to step up and perform.
Brittany: I’m more talented than all of you. I see that clearly now. It’s Brittany… bitch.
Will: Guys, we’re not doing Britney Spears. And that’s that.
Kurt: Mr. Schue, you are letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do. I mean this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture and Britney Spears is pop culture. To suggest otherwise is…
Will: Kurt! I’m done talking about this!
Kurt: Jeez! Let loose a little, would you? Stop being so freaking up-tight all the time!
Will: Kurt. I’ll see you in the principal’s office.

Beautiful people. <3

(via byeyall-deactivated20120427)

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me

— Over The Rainbow

Rachel: So, we have something we need to say to you.
Matt: In the beginning of this year I was just another football player.
Tina: I had a stutter.
Mercedes: I was a closeted diva.
Quinn: I used to be captain of the Cheerios.
Mike: I was afraid to dance outside my room.
Santana: I hated everyone in this club.
Brittany: So did I.
Kurt: I wasn’t honest about who I was.
Puck: I was tossing kids into dumpsters.
Artie: I had never kissed a girl before.
Rachel: I was getting slushied.
Finn: I didn’t have a father. Someone I could look up to, model myself after. Someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man.
Rachel: We don’t care what the judges say. We won. Because we had you as a teacher.
Mercedes: Glee club will never end, Mr. Schue, because you are Glee club. You’re in all of us now.